Golden Retriever Fun
Our Goldens make us laugh and bring more joy into our lives than we ever imagined. Because we love all things "dog", we just had to share some of our favorite cartoons, videos, jokes, and stories with all of you. If you have a great one to add, please send it our way!
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"The reason a dog has so many friends is because he wags his tail instead of his tongue."
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-Anonymous
"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be."
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-Hollbrook Jackson
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-Ann Landers
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
-Ben Williams
"I Loved You Best"
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So this is where we part, my friend
And you'll run on, around the bend.
Gone from sight, but not from my mind,
new pleasures there you'll surely find.
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I will go on; I'll find the strength,
Life measures quality, not its length.
One long embrace before you leave,
Share one last look, before I grieve.
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There are others, that much is true,
But they be they, and they aren't you.
And I, fair, impartial, or so I thought,
Will remember well all you've taught.
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Your place I'll hold, you will be missed,
The fur I stroked, the nose I kissed.
And as you journey to your final rest,
Take with you this ... I loved you best.
- Jim Willis
"Worthy"
He is your friend,
your partner,
your defender,
your dog.
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You are his life,
his love,
his leader.
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He will be yours,
faithful and true,
to the last beat of his heart.
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You owe it to him
to be worthy of such devotion.
"Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary"
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Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
"A Dog's Dictionary and Guide"
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BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.
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BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.
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BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.
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DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when your person wants them in and you want to stay out. Actions include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.
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DOG BED: Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread, the newly upholstered couch, or the dry cleaning that was just picked up.
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DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.
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GARBAGE CAN: A container which your owners put out to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.
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LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go. Make sure that you wait patiently with the leash in mouth when your owner comes home from work.This immediately make your owner feel guilty and the walk is lengthened by a good 10 minutes.
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SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop. This can also be done to human's crotches.
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THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.
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